More Politics

((Continued from: https://dragonageafter.forumotion.com/t178-no-such-thing-as-fair-game-in-politics))

The door opened and Nygozy waited for Kai to check it out knowing that he would not allow her into the room without checking it first. There did not seem to be anything wrong in the room as only King Alistair Theirin was in there signing documents and eating cheese.

Nygozy looked back into the tunnels and closed her eyes, "I think fighting would be easier." She said quietly.

"This will be safer" Kai kept his hand on Ny's to reassure her, he nodded with a little warmth and looked at her as if to say he wasn't going anywhere. With that he entered the room with her, waiting patiently for her to calm down and speek

"Safer body wise but not mind wise." She countered then took a deep breath as the door closed behind her. Yes, the woman was angry out of her mind at him but that still did not stop her from having trouble trying to find a way to get herself to start anything. It would be easier to just run away.

Funny how things like that worked. She could walk onto a battlefield seeing fighters being crushed and torn to shreds by a demonic beast many times her size yet to speak with Alister, to come out and discuss what she needed to discuss, terrified her much more than dying. There was too much built up feelings tearing at her gut as she looked on at the man she had loved and who tore her heart to shreds at a time in which she could spare no moment to deal with the situation or even think of it or it would have broken her before even getting to the arch demon.

Nygozy squeezed Kai's hand and gave him a look of thanks, feeling silly for how she felt, the worries which made her feel like she was less of a person and had no true strenght.

She took a couple of steps and cleared her throat, "King Alistair Theirin." She announced while still holding onto Kai's hand, "You may wish to get Zevran's team out to get rid of a horde of pretend guards out of the hallway and away from my team." Her voice didn't crack once and for that she was slightly proud of herself.

A shadow flitted away in a swift departure making her smirk knowing it was indeed Zevran and that the man would not let her down as he didn't even wait for Alistair's word, "We have things to discuss, Alistair." She said as she came closer and grabbed a chunk of cheese to eat, "Glad it is you and not an imposter like your guards."

''King Alistair Theirin''

Andraste's holy knickers!

Alistair jumped in his chair and looked astonished at the dwarf that he knew so well and that seemed to have materialized from nowhere in front of him. Blinking like an owl, he looked around in disbelief and again at her.

Many things came to his mind, many things that he had wanted to tell her in his letters but never dared to, and many things that he should have told her but never did, and now... maybe was late?

But all of those things flew away from his mind as he stared at her, feeling the familiar painful darts inside his chest thinking about what he so foolishly lost for something that he hated with all his strength.

Finally, he was able to ask something, and it came out as awkwardly as ever.

''Where the heck are you coming out from!?''

The look on his face made Nygozy' heart dip and she wanted at that moment to just settle it out and give him a hug then she remembered the hurt, the nights of loneliness during the time they were going after the Blight then even more so when she left him behind in Denerim. It had taken all of her strength to get through his coronation and even then it was only due to Zevran and Leliana being there with her. Well, you could say that Shale's constant criticism of the nobles did wonders as well. It wasn't every day you got to hear a golem call someone's hairdo a beehive in training.

For a moment she smirked at that memory then looked up at Alistairs face. No smirk remained. Only pain and she was glad the others were not in there but hoped Zevran got his assasins into the fray soon enough.

Nygoay's mind came back to the now and she snorted at Alistair's question as she munched the cheese then grabbed a large hunk of the most expensive kind there, "You know me. I can get almost anywhere." She looked at the cheese in her hand instead of at him, "You could have just sent a messenger instead of a bunch of soldiers to take our horses."

She knew that even if he had sent a request to arrive faster she would have still dallied. Her heart was not fully healed and even the thought of him put her into a state of uneasiness.

Even in his mental dizzyness, he saw her smirk, but it was so briefly that he wondered if it was real.

And then she stole some of his most expensive cheese and threw the dart.

"You could have just sent a messenger instead of a bunch of soldiers to take our horses."

Wait, what?

''WHAT?'' Alistair blinked again. ''Take your horses?? Why would I want to take your horses, Josie? That doesn't make sense! We have plenty of horses here in Denerim!''

Nygozy's eyes narrowed as he spoke, "Well well it seems that there are more imposters than the guards and soldiers. Your message came with a verbal request for our horses as opposing factions wanted nothing to do with anything related to Orlais. I am suddenly glad I made Zev," She used the assasin' nickname she liked as she knew it bothered Alistair. Now where did that pettiness come from? Oh wait from wanting to throw pain back, stupid knee jerk reactions, "Take on keeping you alive and dealing with your personal security."

She chewed on the pricey cheese, "Damn I miss this kind." She waved it at him, "It looks like there is a lot to clean up your majesty."

Alistair sighed and looked at the ceiling, leaning his back to the chair.

''Grrreeeeeaaaaat. I am the bloody King and it seems EVERYONE do what they please no matter if I am here or not. What a surprise''

He gave her a sheepish look and tried to joke like he used to, not long ago, but it seemed to have been years, decades, centuries since that happened

''I SWEAR you, Josie, that I never ordered that. All I wanted was you to come here so I could speak with you,. They were suppossed to escort you here! Not just the horses! I am sure horses have amazing conversations but they are just not my type, you know''

Nygozy waited as Alistair reacted to the news and shrugged as there was a lot going on and the man was going to have to clean it up. Doesn't have mich to do with me. I'm a Warden not royalty. She thought disdinfully.

"True enough. A mare would make a horrible queen, always scuffing up the floor with bad table manners and no sense of propriety regarding the little girl's room." She joked back with the tiniest of smiles, saddened by the thought due to him never taking a stand for what he wanted.

''Ha, ha. Point taken. No mares then'' Alistair sighed with relief, and looked at Nygozy, curious ''What happened to the soldiers that...? Wait, do I even want to know? You didn't came alone, did you? Who came with you? I have no time to go out, you know, I'm always locked here signing papers and having people here yelling at me for this and that and...''

As the rant went on and on, obviously nervous, he thought about what to say. He had to say something

''Oh, by the way, Leliana was here not long ago and told me she' may join you soon. It looks like she's bored already. Also... well... I think I should tell you why I wanted you to come here, shouldn't I?''

He started sweating

Maker, I prefered fighting darkspawn

"Only one soldier who came for the horses was killed. Any of the other injured were patched up." She grabbed some more of the expensive cheese and walked over to a comfortable arm chair then flopped into it, terribly tired out, "HA! Alone? You have got to be completely confused to think that Kai, Drake, Sinjan, or Torture would let me go anywhere alone, let alone into what they figure is possible danger." She jabbed a thumb towards the door as she realized that she'd said Kai first and wondered about that, "Point in fact out there."

Nygozy chewed on some cheese as she threw her legs over the arm of the chair and laid back with her head against the other arm and the cushion on the back of the seat. She wiggled her feet as she looked away from Alistair, not wanting to see his face at the moment and plunked a good sized piece in her mouth and chewed as he mentioned Leliana. She nodded non-compliantly then looked up when he said he would tell her why he asked her there.

"Go on." She said, her heart in her throat.

Now? Oh, Maker

''Ah... wel... I... Hum... Would you like to drink something?'' He laughed nervously. Now that he had to face the problem, it looked way too difficult to tell and explain before she could kill him.

''Well... I've been thinking... Please, don't laugh. I know I'm not brilliant, but sometimes I have some nice ideas by myself, you know. So, I've been thinking... about this whole thing about being King, and you and me, and that I don't like being here and... well... I want to go back to the Wardens, with you, Josie, I'm tired of this...''

Nygozy had been turning a hunk of cheese over and over until he got to his point. The cheese stopped moving between her fingers and fell unbeknonst by the little woman. It rolled across her chest, dropped to the cushion where it bouced then plopped onto the floor, little chunks flying as the main body of it rolled across the floor.

She lay there upon the chair in stunned silence with her eyes misting up. He wanted to return to the group. Alistair wanted to come back with her or to her? She gulped then licked her lips in a nervous reaction she seldom showed anyone because no one could shock her so well.

Shee turned her head to look up at the man who had once unthinkingly torn her heart to shreds, her auburn eyes open wide in a silent question. What exactly was he thinking his place wouldbe with her? How how was she to deal with this?

Nygozy swallowed then tried unsuccessfully to gain her equillibrium, "You have talked with the Earl?" It took all her strength to add that she had suggested that long ago.

''Yes, I have'' Alistair sighed ''And he didn't like it, but I don't care, not anymore''

He remembered the red face of the Arl yelling at him about duty, the Theirin's honor and such. With a deep sigh, he looked to her again, serious

''I had an idea so I could get away and serve with you. Be with you'' Alistair smiled nervously ''I could even be your second if you want. I... You don't realize how sorry I am for everything, Josie. I want to mend what I did. I need to mend it and make you forgive me''

He was dead serious. There was so much pain to his words and she wondered past the feeling of complete surprise upon what it was that had made him turn from his forced duties. He said he wanted to make it better or her, to make it up for all he had done. But what was it that had changed his mind? He was not a horrible king even if he was not the best. Or did he find it wearying to do this job? She knew she would find it tiring after even a day.

"What is your plan." She said calmly even though her eyes said she was nowhere near calm.

''Running away screaming like a little girl!'' Alistair smiled wide, trying to make her laugh, and when it was certain that Nygozy wasn't going to laugh, he sighed once again.

''Alright, alright. I asked Macha to be the Queen, so I could run away and let her in charge of things here. I. Don't. Like. Her. In. That. Way'' He stated seriously ''I just asked her because these stupid pimps in court want a noble to be my wife and their Queen, and the Couslands are well known and respected... But she said no. I can't blame her for not wanting this throne, I /don't/ want it for sure''

He waited a few seconds to see if a dagger was flying to his head, and when he noticed that no dagger was thrown... yet, he continued

''Or I abdicate in Arl Eamon, or I fake my own death, or find someone to rule for me. Or you can help me to convince Macha''

Nygozy turned her head to stare at Alistair, her eyes gone wide while a slight gasp came from her. He'd asked Macha? He had asked Macha? Her mouth worked as her brain caught up with the words, her throat closing on her making her choke then she fell from the chair as she had moved too far forward.

"What?" She literally choked out as she stood, her eyes narrowed, "What the stone... I ah ... crud I ..." Another strange sound came from her as she walked back and forth, trying to get her brain to work as she did so. It was befuddling her that he would even think of such a thing and not tell the council to go shut up. She was a paragon for goodness sakes! He could have simply talked with her before his inauguration and they could have settled things out. It had not been too long since he had dropped her like a rock. But he had refused to talk to her that day, hidden away so she left right after he was crowned.

"You ... I ... dammit Ali!! I loved you more than anything in my universe and now you say you bowed to the administration and asked our friend to marry you? I'm a freaking paragon!" She snarled as she continued to stomp back and forth, "For goodness sakes I'm not sure I know what to think any more! I'm not sure I know what to expect from you! Next thing you know you'll be saying that you screwed Morrigan and that's why she's belly bursting now!"

She turned, stopped and looked at him, shaking unsteadily.

Alistair's face changed to one that showed desperation, sadness, disgust and some fear

''Is she pregnant? Well... er... now that you mention it...'' He started sweating again. Maker's breath, what in Thedas had he been thinking? Now he had no escape, and he never liked to lie Josie, never, even when he had to leave her for good.... but it wasn't good, right?

He was showing all the expressions she was used to when he was trying not to tell her something then the words came out as a strange almost stutter and then the hanging meaning.

Nygozy stared at him as if she were about to faint.

The Dwarven lady continued to stare as her mind tried to digest what the hanging sentence meant. She took a couple steps backwards, still completely flummoxed by this revelation.

"You WHAT?" For the first time in a long time her voice came out as a broken gasp, "You ... Morrigan ... you ... YOU HATE HER!!" She had close to snapped, "Ok explain this one away before I start thinking that you have been taken over by a fade demon or something because that certainly is NOT the Alistair I know!"

For a moment Alistair felt that he was getting smaller and smaller, while Nygozy was standing taller than anyone else in the world, towering him and making him feel miserable as a critter.

''I did it for you!'' He yelled suddenly and standing up, papers falling from the table, and even the chair fell down with a -clang- noise. ''Don't you remember?? Riordan said that the Warden who kill the Archdemon dies! You weren't going to let me go and fight then when I was going to be the sodding King! You were going to die, Josie! And then...''

He wanted to sit down, but the chair was on the floor, and he was feeling spent, disgusted remembering that night with the witch

''Morrigan came and offered me a deal. She knew about a... ritual to save your life if you were the one to kill the Archdemon. I had to... bed her in order to get her pregnant, and the Archdemon's soul would go to the child, so you'd live. I hated it... I hate her for what she made me to do, but I don't regret it. You're alive, Josie... Even if you hate me knowing this, your alive, and that's the only thing I wanted...''

"And that is why you didn't want me to go hunting in the Deep Roads for a new Arch Demon." Everything came crumbling down around her. This was how she had survived. Morrigan and likely Flemeth got exactly what they were looking for by waiting it out. And there was no Arch Demon anymore. The Grey Wardens did not have to search for what escaped because it never did.

Her feet moved backwards as tears that she'd been holding back began to fall. All of what had happened came crushing down on her heart and she knocked into the chair, flopping down unnoticingly into the cushions, staring at the ground. It was too much to take. It was too much so she went silent with befuddlement.

Maker, she was crying.

Alistair jumped from his seat and rushed to her side, kneeling beside her and trying to take her hands in his.

''Josie... Josie, I am sorry! So very sorry!''

His voice cracked, and he felt his own eyes full of unshed tears.

''It is... weird, Maker knows it is, but I did it for you! For you only, Josie! I... I just couldn't stand the idea of seeing your death, not seeing you again! Josie, I am sorry... but I'd do it again if needed, just to keep you alive...''

He took her hands and she did not react one way or another. There was too much mulling around in her brain that she could not react even if she realized what he was doing. He spoke, she heard but it was lost in the drowning thoughts of what was, what could have been, what can be, the pain, the loss, the wants and needs, the wishes and fears all rolled up into one cinderblock bag of emotion.

"I know, Ali." She said in hardly a whisper as she had no energy left to speak any louder or she would completely lose it. She snorted lightly, "Remember the fight we had about who would kill the Arch Demon? You didn't want me to ... this is ... there's so much ... Ali? I ... we ... "

Slowly she rose from the chair, her eyes hollow from trying to keep everything contained. The Dwarven woman's feet guided her to the door and out, her head turning as she heard the sounds of people regrouping after battle, healing and dealing with the aftermath. It seemed they were all alive.

Nygozy did not look long as she didn't want anyone to see the state she was in so her feet continued taking her down the hallway. She gave no one any indication that they should or should not follow. She really did not even think of it at this point.

Finally, she came to a door and tried to open it but it was locked. Within moments she'd jimmied the lock, "Bad security." She mumbled as the lock picking had been too easy even for someone in such a state of mind. Then she stood inside, looking at the wall to the room she had spent so much time in before the Landsmeet, in another confusing time but at least then she was happy. She had what her heart needed then.

Kai followed Nygozy as she wandered into an empty room, he had been watching that whole scene in silence. He had seen it before of course, seen a couple as they fought, hollared and screamed at one another. Sometimes he would have to kill one of them, and they would fight, one would kill the other and he would be spared the task of doing it himself. Normally the Dalsih ignored these events quite easily, he was able to brush them away and never spare them a second thought.

So why? Why had ths fued, which was no different than any other he had witnessed, struck him emotionally? What was different? Why had he had to fight himself to remain quiet, to force himself not to react? He thought, maybe it was the fact of who the fighters in this battle were? A hero and a king? He let the thoughts leave him. He walked silently into the room behind the hero and closed the door, to give them some privacy.

He looked at the hero, he tried to imagine the pain the woman must be feeling. For a moment he felt as though he had hit something, a memory hidden away in his mind, an old ache that his heart tried to block and bury with a life of cold blood and numbing murder. However it seems he failed. That memory, which he dared not to examine closer, was strong in him. He tried to push it down and lock it away, with no success, a part of the memory tugged on his mind a it begged to be recalled.

Kai had no time for that now, he would have to mask that feeling. He could open old wounds later on his own time. Right now, in this moment, what mattered was the hero. He looked at the dwarven woman again. He should say something right? But what? What words could he possibly have to offer? He opened his mouth to speak but no words came, he closed it again.

Then suddenly, almost before he could realize what he was doing, Kai was moving. He sank quietly down onto his knees behind Nygozy, he was at her height now. the assassin carefully draped his arms around her dwarven shoulders, he pulled her against his chest and held her there.

His grip was firm and strong, but gentle, it was as if the elf were trying to help Ny hold herself together.

Alistair watched her leave, puzzled and feeling the tears still filling his eyes. Paralyzed, he just couldn't follow her at first.

She was overwhelmed by everything, it seemed. He couldn't blame her though. He was overwhelmed as well.

After some moments, he put himself together and followed her... just in time to see the elven assassin that he made Zevran send to protect her stepping into the room Nygozy had used before the Landsmeet and closing the door behind him.

Alistair stopped in the middle of the corridor, looking at the door and feeling the fear growing inside his chest. Was it too late? Maybe Kai just wanted to make sure nobody would disturb the Hero. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it was too much to expect that Josie would still love him after all the things he did.

Maybe she just needed time to think about it. Maker knew he needed it.

Turning again, he was ready to go and die under some rock, or hide under some bed to wait for the storm to go away, but instead of that, he found something that he didn't expect.

Two iced eyes were looking at him, incredibly close even if she had to look up at him, but height was never a thing that mattered to be afraid of the Wolf.

''Oh! Er... Ah... Hello, Calliara. I didn't hear you'' Alistair laughed nervously. If the Wolf had become attached to Nygozy, or just liked the dwarf, he was in trouble.