What do you want first?

Alistair released a slow, steady breath as Nygozy announced her final decision. It might not have been the wisest or safest choice but, honestly, it was the one he'd been fully expecting her to make. How could Nygozy, the self-admitted saver of kittens (the memory tugged at his lips ever so slightly as he recalled it) and Hero of Ferelden let her own child die? It just wasn't possible - Morrigan would sooner stop being an utter bitch, and Sten might start holding conversations with chatty chambermaids more easily than Nygozy would change her self-sacrificing ways. And he couldn't even hold it against her because he was the exact same way, too.

The Kai moved, and ruined his internal musing (which the elf seemed to do often), and he refocused on Josie - and, well, the baby inside of her. It probably wasn't even old enough to be a 'baby' yet, but in no time it would be alive and breathing and learning about the world, and as much as he wanted to, it would be a world that he couldn't be apart of, at least, not in the way he wanted.

"I'll pray to the Maker that you - and the baby - stay safe, Josie," he said in a quietly sincere voice, and half-smiled in her direction from where he was standing a few steps behind Kai.

Kai hugged her and she put her head on his shoulder hugging him back. She still felt like she was in a state of shock but that was ok. Wasn't it? No one really expected her to be completely sane after being told a miracle had happened and that her life would be completely changed within a matter of moments without there being a major emergency. Ok that wasn't true. She supposed there was a big emergency when she'd fallen unconscious but to her it was a bunch of shocks all at once.

When Kai let her go and kissed her forehead she smiled awkwardly not knowing how she was supposed to react besides happy but happy would come later, "I'm sure everyone will be willing to spoil the little one to death." She chuckled lightly.

She looked up at Alistair, giving him an awkward smile as well, "I don't think the Maker will have anywhere near as much to do with that as you two will." Nygozy half grinned, "There's not likely to be anything that can hurt me within fifty feet of me if you have your ways."

The small woman sighed, "I guess you guys are right. I should eat but I'm not ready for the party yet." She turned and started walking back to camp.

Kai was perfectly fine with avoiding the party as he wasn't big on people anyway. Having to share Nygozy with Alistair right now was bad enough, the fewer he had to share with the better. "Not just us. Think how my dear cousin will react if anything comes near you. She's likely to bite my head off if I don't make sure you eat." The assassin commented with a small grin. Even he couldn't be as scary as a pissed off Calliara.

"You should call Torture and get him to russle up some food. I doubt he'll listen to me now that you're awake. I think a nice quiet dinner will do you good. Life always seems better with a full stomach." Kai was glad to move onto safer and more normal topics as they walked back to camp.

Alistair stood unmoving for a moment, and watched Kai lead Nygozy back towards the came. So, that was going to be it, now - Kai and Nygozy and the baby. Josie still obviously wanted to keep him somewhere in that life, and he desperately wanted to be kept, but was it right to . . . to 'butt in' like that? Did he have the right to intrude on that little family that was growing there, even though he loved Josie more than life itself? He didn't know, honestly. He didn't want to be miserable, which he would be without her, but Josie was more important, and making sure she was happy took precedence over his own happiness.

Arg! It really was all way too confusing for his mind. He didn't do well with all of this philosophical-type thinking, and it was only making his head hurt, now. He finally moved to catch up, and he laid his hand on Josie's arm. "Josie," he said after he'd caught up. "Can I . . . can I talk to you alone for a second?" When he said 'alone,' he pointedly looked at Kai, and then went back to looking earnestly at Josie.

Nygozy half smiled while Kai seemed to be pleased that she decided the quiet of the tent instead of the vivaciousness of the party. He was happy but that was not all that mattered. Alistair was having trouble with this and she knew it. How could she not know it? They had done so much together and known each other so well.

As she was about to say something Alistair requested that he speak with her alone and she sighed, almost laughing as he had been thinking the same way she was at that moment. She halted her steps, looking down for a moment then touched Kai's shoulder, "I need this time with Ali, Kai. Please, go ahead and get some food and drink from the party. Torture is on his way back. I might be a bit of time but Alistair will protect me if it is required. You know that."

She waited for him to respond, hoping that he would not balk at her decision.

Kai looked at Nygozy, then turned to glare at Alistair. After a moment he sighed and nodded. He didn't like leaving her at the best of times, and especially not now, but he had sworn to do what she asked.

"If anything happens to her I will skin you alive." He growled and then faded into the shadows and was gone.

''Is he gone?'' Alistair asked suspiciously. ''I mean, really, really gone? He's not hiding here somewhere, ready to stab me?''

The King foolishly looked around, even poking in some bushes with the point of his sword just to be sure. After almost three or four minutes doing so, he looked at Nygozy.

''Well... I hope he is gone for real''

He smiled awkwardly. Ah, man, here was he, going on it again. Start already, man.

''Eh... uh... well... We're having such a nice weather, aren't we?'' He scratched the back of his neck

Well done, genius

Alistair was being as nervous as possible, poking at bushes and making sure that Kai was gone. She waited and smirked more and more as he did this as he always amused her when he was being paranoid. However, she didn't blame him as Kai could hide extremely well but he was not about to kill Ali when he knew it would upset her. Plus Kai knew he had an extra Nygozy sitter now.

She followed him about, calmly peeking around him as he poked at things then glanced at the sky when he noted the good weather, "Good enough for your flying dogs to come around, that's for sure. I hope they bring us more cheese. We are running low and no one can make it very well with this traveling deal."

Her eyes settled back on him, "Talk Ali." She said the words gently even though she believed whatever he was going to say was going to hurt.

He sighed, and looked off to the ground for a minute, composing his thoughts, and then took a deep breath and looked back at Nygozy with as much confidence as he could possibly muster.

"Right. Josie. Well, here it is." He cleared his throat, and then started in with a shaky breath. "I love you. You know that, and I've said it a thousand times, but I just felt that, well, maybe it would mean more if I said it without your . . . bodyguard around. But that's not what I wanted to say!" he said, shaking his hand before continuing. "Josie, this baby . . . you mean more to me than anything, and I'm going to protect you - and it - with everything I have. You don't even have to . . . choose me, because that doesn't matter. As long as you're safe, as long as you can keep being the funny, strong, absolutely brilliant woman you are, that's enough. I just wanted you to . . . to know that. I'm not even going to say that, if you find that you don't like Kai anymore, I'll be waiting, because I don't want to put that on you. My feelings aren't something you need to worry about, because you have to worry about everyone, so if you just make me one less person you have to worry about, then at least there's that."

He stopped finally, letting out a slow breath, and looked down. "And Josie," he continued, looking back at the dwarven Commander, "no matter what happens, you'll always be the best friend I ever had. Nothing can possibly change that." He frowned, and looked off to the camp where Kai had disappeared to. "I just wish that pigheaded bodyguard of yours - no offense - would get it through his thick skull that I've been protecting you - not that you need protecting, that is - a lot longer than he has," he finally finished, valiantly resisting the urge to pout at that last bit.

It took a bit to look up at him and even then it was a bit of a stretch although he had gone down a hilly section a few steps before he talked to her. It was evident to pretty much everyone that Ali loved her and it was true that he had said it so many times that most women would be swooning over the romanticism of it all. It never got old.

Somehow the words sounded as if he were in pain saying them. It was probably at least partially so considering that she was having Kai's child and not his. But that was still some time off. Here he was pouring his heart out and it made her think of how much they had gone through. It wasn't hard to know that he had watched her back even when they were not in a fight together. He kept her safe from those who would hurt her in any way when he could and she pretended not to notice because he did seem to like secretly taking care of the extra things to make sure she was not completely overwhelmed.

And he would have died for her taking down the Arch Demon if he hadn't gone through the ritual with Morrigan. She knew him well enough to know that he would have forced his way to go along if he thought it was between the two of them to die. And he would have done everything in his power to have been the one at the end.

"Ali." She stepped forward and put out her hand to touch his face, even it he still stood taller than she did when he was on a lower level, "Since the first day we met you have been there for me. Even when we were surrounded by uncompromising odds we stuck together and fought it out. Even with all the fear of death and scrambling to try to make it through it was a wonderful time of my life, the first experiences I had where I felt like I could control my direction and had people who truly cared for what they were doing and each other, even with all the in squabbling."

Nygozy gave him a conciliatory smile, "I'm not sure if you two will ever get along because of the rivalry but at least you have the same goals in mind. Watching over me so I'll make sure you both have to work together to keep the rivalry at bay for the most part." She chuckled then hugged him.

For a few moments she held Alistair then sighed onto his shoulder the old feelings of trust and the ability to let out her fears still there. She and Kai tended to talk sometimes but today she needed Ali's ear like she used to have all the time. Whenever one told the other of their thoughts the other just had to follow. It was almost like an unwritten law between them.

"To be honest, this all scares me, Ali, and I need you two to get through it. Our group was small enough that I could know everyone and didn't have to rule over anyone. Now I'm a commander, a commander by Andraste's buttocks! By the stone I have no clue what to do with this. Diplomacy and trying to figure out people sure but this ... heck, I have no clue about how to rule over people. I know how to work 'with' people not controlling all parts of their lives, telling them they have to do something. When we were out there I said 'Hey I'm doing this I need two or four volunteers or some such. That is not something that a commander would do. You have to know all the skills and who to put with whom to get the most effect and there is little to no leeway. Cripes, I've taken out drill sergeants' kneecaps for doing what I likely am going to have to do."

Nygozy sighed with resignation, "But I have to learn somehow I suppose. Too late to run away. I'm glad you've come back to the wardens. I still love you and always will. Yet I love Kai too. I don't have the strength to lose either of you."

Alistair hugged her hard, and then released her so both of them could recover a bit of dignity before starting to cry. It was unfair. Not for him, but for Josie. In a way, he deserved this, but yet it hurt so much. Too much to even handle it in that moment, and yet he had to or Josie would break.

''I don't want you to cry, Josie. I will be here for you if you need me, and even if you don't. That's... that's what friends are for. And for the other part... Well, you have lots to worry about right now. You are the Commander, and have to deal with... well, I just can't describe what you have in camp'' He waved his hand in the camp's direction. ''And you are doing a hell of a work with them. I am proud of you. I think... I think Duncan would be proud of you as well''

Oh Maker, why he had to mention Duncan? His eyes felt wet for a second, and he shook his head. Not now. It didn't matter Duncan had been like his own father, friend, brother and master at the same time. This moment was Josie's.

''Well... eh... so... should we go back? I think there are things that would need your approval''