God Damn You

((From: https://dragonageafter.forumotion.com/t301p75-vk-nygozy-kai-wolfram-griffinhart-alistair-and-zevran))

Alistair was right. There had never been this much problem with the people they had in their group when setting up to and going after the Arch Demon. What was this that was making it so much more annoying and difficult? Did someone's god take an ill will to having so many races actually putting up with each other or was it just imps of perverse making everything that much more difficult? Whatever it was made Nygozy uneasy and grumpy. As soon as one problem was dealt with another reared it's head and this had been happening all day. It was going to be satisfying when they got to where they were going to camp but then she also had to deal with Trouble One and Trouble Two. At least she was able to make latrine jokes in her head about that one to keep her from losing her temper for now.

"You are a piece of work, Kraven. I would like to know how you expect people to believe you are being truthful about any dangers when you have proven to be one yourself and because of what? You eavesdropping on conversations and taking what you heard as a huge problem and becoming lethal towards my people. A dramatic reaction to something that could have been settled easily without all that hooplah. That is no way to acquire anyone's trust."

Kraven sat upon the grass; the blades caressing this palms. He sighed for a moment; it had been far too long since he had been able to enjoy even the simplest of pleasures; such as the beauty of this land.

He looked at the dwarf as she spoke; listening to every word carefully, to make sure he understood exactly where she stood.

"Your demon worshiper seems to think that my sacrifices for the good of my people have been easy. The only thing that I wished to do was scare him. I was tempted to rip the demon from him, be glad that I did not, for it would have been bloody" he grinned evilly at her.

"I mean you no disrespect Warden, however, some of your wardens are going to get everyone killed. They do not know how to work as a team. While others wish to only preach to them about a culture where no one is allowed to have any free thoughts."

Kraven shook his head as his fingers dug into the dirt.

"Are they ready to know what lies ahead of them? Are you?"

"It is true that there are problems and some are needing a fair amount of work to become good wardens, if they ever go through their joining. It is also true that Wolfram has no idea who or what you are as well as what you have gone through. I'm also positive that none of us do know what lies ahead of us but I'm betting on nasty, vicious and unkind. That is usually what stalks upon my heels wherever I go."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Scaring people does not help and you ripping the demon from him would have made you an enemy of myself and my group. He spoke words which bruised your mighty pride. That is all. He did not deserve to be tortured for that and you touching him was torture. I could see the pain in his face."

Nygozy looked towards the others then back, "But the issue here is not if we know what is ahead or even that some of the people in the group have no clue as to what extent elves are exploited or even care. The issue is that you attacked one of my people due to uneducated words. How am I to trust you?"

Kraven placed his arms behind his back, "You need to take control of what your people say. There are a mixture of races. And it seems that there is a bunch on either side that dislike each other. This is not a good idea. Especially since you have them collected together in groups."

Kraven shook his head, "I know that with the Wardens segregation is not an option. However, they need to be able to trust one another. And they do not. Just like we need to trust one another, yet we are not quite there yet."

Kraven ran his fingers through his hair, "The ones that I work for have taken it upon themselves to push their over zealous nature towards those that would speak ill will of their kin onto me. It is something that I have grown accustom too after all this time."

He sighed heavily and turned his back to Nygozy, hanging his head, "Do you know what it is like to have nine voices in your head? Especially when they do not agree on everything. And with that rift opening they have grown more and more vocal."

"I can control them sometimes. But if they feel strongly towards something, it overwhelms me and compels me to act. I am just glad that I do not have the demons to contend with. I have taken so many into me that any normal being would have succumbed to them long ago."

He turned and faced her again, his face calm, "You want to be able to trust me right? There is a way that will guarantee it." He stood staring at her; it was as if his eyes were looking into her very soul.

"Yes there are those in my group who do not get along with other races but that is only expected when starting out with new people under your care. It is difficult to know what to expect when you truly do not know a person. Most of the people within my ranks are not a problem. It is the few who have the strongest views who react the most and are trouble waiting to happen and yes, I do understand that I am going to have to deal with these issues and quickly."

What he was saying sounded very ominous with the reference of nine individuals residing in his head, "What does that mean exactly? Nine who are within and try to control you?"

Nygozy looked up at him wondering what he was up to, not appreciating the feel of being examined so intricately but she held off the impression the best she could, "Then show me how I can."

What he was saying sounded very ominous with the reference of nine individuals residing in his head, "What does that mean exactly? Nine who are within and try to control you?"

Kraven tapped the nine symbols on his armour, "They are always within, always watching. Sometimes I can drown them out. But they are always talking to me. Sometimes when they are angry they can over come me, making me do things that would otherwise be considered questionable."

"There is one way you will be able to trust me without question. And will drown them out." he said as he tapped his breastplate again.

"It is a binding ritual. The souls of two people are bound together. If we were bound together there would be no question of loyalty. However, there are certain side effects. We will be able to hear each others thoughts to the point that we could act as one. You could see through my eyes, hear through my ears, feel what I feel."

"If either of us is hit in combat it will be as if the other was hit as well. If one dies, we both die."

Kraven chuckled for a moment, "That one doesn't really apply, since I can not die. If my physical body is destroyed somehow, it will be reformed in the fade in an instant. You will feel it though as if you were struck down. If you were to fall in combat you would rise again as I would not have fallen."

Kraven stared deeply into the female dwarf's eyes, "This is a very intimate ritual, as each of us will see all of the others memories."

"The only reason why I suggest it, is because it can only be completed with one who is worshiped. And you are a Paragon. You are considered a god among your people."

Kai was standing silently in the shadows as per usual listening to the conversation. It was an interesting one, but none of his concern until Kraven mentioned the ritual.

"Please tell me you aren't considering this Hero?" Kai asked appearing at her shoulder. "You are, aren't you?" He knew how headstrong she could be and once she decided nothing he said would stop her. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder to turn her toward him so he could look her in the eye.

As Kraven spoke Nygozy was trying to come to terms with what he was saying. How could anyone deal with nine people within them, taking them over when they felt it necessary? This certainly was not giving her any cozy, warm feelings about trustworthiness as how could you trust someone who could not trust themselves?

Then he came to the concept of what he wished to do to prove his loyalty and it shocked her enough that she sat there staring at him with a startled expression which was more than she could handle at the moment. It would certainly deal with the trust issue if that was exactly what he said.

"Would we always hear each other's thoughts and ... what if I were doing things I did not wish to be intruded upon? Would we have any privacy at all? What other benefits and downfalls are there to this?"

Then Kai spoke and turned her to look at him and she couldn't remove the fact that she was considering it or that she was confused as to whether it should be done. She let out a deep breath, looking into his eye, "I don't know whether it is a good or a bad idea."

Kraven smiled at Kai as he spoke.

"Do not worry young one, I would never intrude upon your moments with her."

"No, we would not always hear each others thoughts."

"It would be an active thing. If you needed to talk without others over hearing, then you could call. And vice versa."

"However, when we are close enough to each other, we will always hear the surface thoughts of one another. That is unfortunately something that can not be changed."

"If you looked through my eyes, you would see what I see. You would see the magic of the world, who was affected by what. Who people really are. As well as who was connected by who. As I can see the connection between you two."

He looked over at Kai, "She would be very well protect; she would not die."

Kraven sighed heavily as the next thing was very hard for him to say, "There is a draw back. Once the binding is done, it can not be undone."

The horses were eating and given water so Alistair went to where his feet always brought him back and that was to Nygozy. Everything had been going so wrong today that he was looking forward to when they camped instead of just having lunch. He thanked the Maker that it was only them in the clearing as the others were scouting the area. Maybe he could finally talk to Josie and see what he could find out.

As soon as he came around the trees he saw not only Nygozy but that crazy elf and Kai. Kai out in the open and not hiding away in the bushes or the shadows? That was not like the man and he was looking into Nygozy's eyes like something was wrong. He growled under his breath, not liking the confused expression on her face. That proved his thoughts. Something was not right in Fereldan.

"She would be very well protect; she would not die. "There is a draw back. Once the binding is done, it can not be undone."

"What in the world are you talking about? What protection for what? What binding are you talking about and it better not be some sexual ritual or I'll have your head mister ... big ... nasty elven guy!"

Kai slowly shook his head as he could see the gears turning in Nygozy's head. She was thinking about it, damn it! He didn't look away fron Nygozy's face as Kraven continued to speak.

Kai's thoughts were interrupted by the approach of familiar footsteps. The assassin snarled under his breath and turned to glare at the king as he approached. He almost snorted at the rediculousness as Alistair spoke. "Shouldn't you be off somewhere playing king?"

Ok. He was getting tired of this puppet king expression this fool had for him. Why in the world did Nygozy even put up with him? He was so cock sure of himself and full of it thinking he knew best.

"Hey I have just as much right to know what is going on here. This is Josie's life he's talking about and I intend to find out what is happening." He glared down at Kai, snarling back at the younger man, "Why don't you go continue hiding in the shadows you ... shadow ... assassin guy."

Kraven swung around as the human entered the clearing, his eyes flaring with anger.

"Human!! Speak to my kinsman like that and I will send you into the fade and have you deal with the creatures there. Lets see how long you will last. I am sure there are quite a few demons who would like to flail the flesh from your bones."

Kraven...if there was anyone he wanted to talk to know, it was him. Hopefully Nygozy has put him in a calm state of mind so Wolfram can find out just what he said to provoke him. It might not be a smart idea, but in his state, there are no smart ideas outside of resting.

Using the Dragon's Call as a support, he decided to follow the nearest clue to his location. He as talking to Nygozy, or should be. That would mean follow someone who follows her like a lost dog. Someone like....Alistair. It was unfortunate for him to call him that, but he seemed to know where he was going and that didn't seem to be scouting.

He slowly followed him to clearing that Nygozy and Kraven had been conversing. He took a rest behind a tree before hearing Alistair's voice, then an argument between Alistair and Kai. Figures.

"Human!! Speak to my kinsman like that and I will send you into the fade and have you deal with the creatures there. Lets see how long you will last. I am sure there are quite a few demons who would like to flail the flesh from your bones."

That seemed like a good enough cue as any. Wolfram stepped out from the trees and looked at them. "Some wouldn't mind using me to do it. Sorry for the intrusion, I felt that I should apologize to Kraven. I obviously don't know much about you to go about assuming things and I take that as why you attacked me."

What did an aneurism feel like? Oh yes. Probably something like that.

Nygozy rubbed her temples with her thumbs and the inner corners of her brows just over her nose with her middle fingers as Kai and Alistair went on with their happy little fighting ground. If she heard one more thing she was likely to blow up. Ah! There it was! The necessary Kraven threatening the human reaction.

She was about to speak when Wolfram stepped into the squabble ground and spoke, apologizing for having said things he had no knowledge of. Well the wonders never ceased. She was getting used to people not wanting to admit to mistakes or fought to get out of them. This brought Wolfram up higher in her judgement of him.

"Kai, Alistair and Kraven ..." She glared at the three of them, "Stop this bickering right now and get off your high horses. I've had it past the point of no return with your testosterone filled, aggressive, masculine tit for tat territorial pissing contest!"

Nygozy gave each one a hard glare, "We will discuss this subject later when I have thought over the concept and the consequences. Right now I just want to rest and let Wolfram and Kraven work out their differences. If I hear one more death to humans type of comment though I will come over there and punch you in the kneecap, Kraven. Just so you know."

With that she lay back, her head on a pillow she had out there and took another pillow to put over the top of her head. Maybe she should just let the boys fight it out in their underwear. At least that would be more fun than the headache they were giving her.

Kai chose to ignore the approach of the blood mage as the man was a warden and had so far shown no hostile intent toward the Hero. As the man approached and began to speak Kai looked at him briefly, quite suprised to hear the human apologizing.

Then Nygozy began to speak and Kai almost felt bad for insulting Alistair... almost. As Nygozy laid down Kai moved over to Kraven and whispered in his ear. "If you send him to the fade can I watch?"

Suddenly the assassin dissapeared back to his shadows to watch where he belonged. He felt bad for upsetting Nygozy. He would have to find a way to make it up to her later. Maybe if he stole some more of Alistair's cheese? The man's presence had to be good for something.

Kraven took a step back as another human stepped into the clearing.

He listened to Wolfram, tilting his head and raised his eyebrows. The flare of his eyes died down and he relaxed his stance as the human apologized to him; it was unexpected.

"You did try to help me when those fools rushed in. So I guess that doesn't make you all bad, you know, for a human."

"Besides, Nygozy is right. And I too apologize for what I did. I was not quite myself. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me and makes some situations worse."

"Most times I just kill the people who have angered me, however I did promise the Paragon that I would not kill any humans under her command." Kraven chuckled.

He looked down at the comfortable dwarf, "There is one last thing we need to discuss. It is about a member of your group, an elf. She seems to be in distress. I am hoping that I can help her if need be."

"And I'm still suffering from the effects of it. I wouldn't be able to support myself without my staff. You see, I originally thought you were just a magic elf version of Rakot, but I suspect that your reasons for hating humans far exceeds that of Rakot's hate for elves and Orlesians combined."

"In comparison, you have shown great restraint. Rakot would have cut down ten people to get to you if he had the opportunity. And that's when he's ordered to stand down. I knew he was going to be trouble the moment we entered Denerim and made his opinion known. That conversation you overheard could apply to Rakot with almost no changes made."

"If you don't mind me asking, what was it that Alistair was complaining about? Something regarding the commander, I assume." He was surprised that Kraven accepted the apology. Despite having lashed out twice in a situation that he got involved with, he was starting to like Kraven more that Rakot and Ostef. Rakot is most likely not going to accept his apology, and Ostef...well that depends on if Rakot is nearby. He also seems to show respect towards the commander, something that the duo doesn't seem to show, as evidence by them ignoring her orders.

"And I'm still suffering from the effects of it. I wouldn't be able to support myself without my staff. You see, I originally thought you were just a magic elf version of Rakot, but I suspect that your reasons for hating humans far exceeds that of Rakot's hate for elves and Orlesians combined."

"Rakot? That is that fools name? I will have to keep that in mind."

"My reasons for hating humans stems from over 1200 years of suppression. That, and the blight that was brought on by power hungry humans that thought to look upon the face of their god."

Kraven shook his head and laughed, "If only they knew what their so called god really was. The chantry itself is a sham. The only reason why it even exists is to keep a choke hold on mages, as well as to create a hatred and fear towards them that spreads like a decease."

"Unfortunately the chantry will have to wait its turn. It will fall, this has already been written."

In comparison, you have shown great restraint. Rakot would have cut down ten people to get to you if he had the opportunity. And that's when he's ordered to stand down.

"I noticed that he would have cut down even his allies to get to his target."

Kraven turned to Nygozy, "Why is he allowed to live and walk among you if he is this dangerous." he questioned.

He again addressed Wolfram, "I have lived 1200 years with the rage and the hatred inside me. Yet before that, I lived far longer without it. It wasn't until my rebirth and binding that I felt this way. It is not my own, it is others that feel this way. It is these feelings that sometimes overwhelm me, causing me to act in such a way."

"What your play king walked in on, was something that would allow me to suppress certain things. That way I could work with you in stopping the coming darkness, without the unwanted desire to slay anything human." Kraven laughed at this last statement.

"Vigils keep is just the beginning. When I walked the fade I could see the tear on the horizon. I could feel who was causing it."

Kraven stumbled back, looking at those around him. His face became pale and his body trembled under its own weight. He stumbled forward, falling to his knees. He managed to brace himself, yet his arms trembled and shook.

"It would appear that opening and closing gateways into the fade has taxed me more than I had thought."

With some trouble he was able to remove his great sword from its scabbard. He used it to get to his feet, the blade digging into the ground.

As he climbed his way up the sword, it shimmered; in its place was an elegant staff. Runes twisted up and down the its shaft; while a twisted wooden cage sat upon the top. A blue glowing crystal could be seen within. It spun in all directions while staying in its place. The base of the staff was bladed; there was no end or beginning to the staff, the blade just seemed to grow from it.

"I think we all need a rest." he said quietly, his voice strained. "It has been a long day for all of us."

"Human!! Speak to my kinsman like that and I will send you into the fade and have you deal with the creatures there. Lets see how long you will last. I am sure there are quite a few demons who would like to flail the flesh from your bones."

"Hey this is between myself and Kai. What right is it of yours to get all uppity if we squabble?" He snapped back at Kraven, "Besides, Nygozy would be mad at you if you even tried."

As Wolfram apologized Alistair stood there with a frown and his arms across his chest not caring what the two men were saying to each other but then Nygozy got upset.

The fact that Nygozy actually snapped at all three of them made Alistair move back a step. He had been trying to figure out what to say to this mad elf when she did this and the shock kept his mouth open as he worked on why she would react that way. At least she snapped at Kai as well and that was all he could hope for. Take that you ... you ... Kai you.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean any ... Josie..." His head dropped and he sat down, hands cupped in his lap as he felt bad for upsetting Nygozy. He would have to do something to make her feel better but what?

The conversation continued between Kraven and Wolfram but Alistair paid little heed of the discussion except about an elf who needed help and that Nygozy could do something to help Kraven not be so bloodthirsty to humans, "Then what's the catch? If it will help you to be better with humans ... but why would Nygozy be at risk? No no. Nygozy cannot be risked and that's all there is to it. That's my word as King."

They spoke, all but Kai, and she waited it out until her headache started to ease up at which point she removed the pillow from over her head and put it to the side. She lay there resting then sat up and looked at Wolfram and Kraven trying to determine how well it was all going. It seemed to be going well and that was all to the good then Alistair spoke up.

"Ali you are not the acting King right now and you know full well you can't stop me from doing anything if I have decided that it is best for everyone involved." She said calmly and without insult or malice, "Kraven, Rakot is a new recruit who was not even supposed to be out of training yet. I do not know why Ser Koru figured they would be ready to come out as he does not accept racism against elves so they must not have shown that or that Rakot would be willing to attack one of our own. I must speak with him later tonight to see the extent of danger."

Nygozy rolled her shoulders, "I need to think more before deciding what I should do. As for this elf who is troubled, please tell me about this person, Kraven."

Kraven leaned heavily on his staff, his voice barely a whisper. "There are two elves among your people that are in trouble, however there is only one of them that I might help at the moment. The other, will take more time."

He took a slow staggered step forward, attempting to get closer to the dwarf, "The red wolf that follows around the Kossith woman you have with you. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but she is not what she seems; she is Elvhenan."

There were no longer wisps of shadows surrounding the elven keeper; nor were his eyes as bright as they were before. For once, since he has been seen in their presence, Kraven looked solid; he lacked the transparency that people normally saw. Even his footsteps left impressions on the grass; the breeze even caught his hair and tossed it about.

"It seemed like she was being forced into this shape. Like she was cursed to roam the rest of her life in another form."

"I must rest. Bring her to me and I will see what can be done."

He looked up and sniffed the air, "Something comes this way. It should be here by night fall. Only allow your most skilled and trusted wardens to stand guard."

Out of the shadows Lobo appeared. A look of concern upon his face, "Lobo here master. Lobo take care of master."

"I would correct you on one thing Kraven. Your talking about Tevinter Magisters. And Tevinter Magister worth his title is more demon than man."

Alistair mentioned that what ever it was Kraven wanted Nygozy to do, it was going to put her at risk. Wolfram, with his low supply of blood and half delirious mind blurted out, "If Nygozy feels it's too risky for her, you can always use me. I have no problem needlessly risking my life and well being, as made obvious by virtue of being a blood mage."

He continued to speak, almost completely ignorant of what he just previously said to move on to the topic of Rakot. "I believe Ser Koru never knew, Commander. He said to me, and I quote, 'They are ready though. Have been for a while. Especially Rakot.' Unless he acquired this hate of elves during the few days travel between Lothering and Denerim, he did a damn good job hiding that fact."

Kraven warned about an impending attack, which disappointed Wolfram. He was too weak to help fight back, safely. He could try summoning demons in his place, but that could also be dangerous. "I'm afraid I won't be of much help for that fight. I shouldn't even be walking around right now."

"I would correct you on one thing Kraven. Your talking about Tevinter Magisters. And Tevinter Magister worth his title is more demon than man."

Kraven glared at the Mage, "Yes I know it was the Tevinter Magisters. They were still young when they came to these lands. They decided to touch on things they knew nothing about. They had already enslaved most of my people. However there were a few of us that escaped this, very few. By the time of the first blight, what remained of my brothers and sisters was gone. I was the last of the Elvhenan to bare the full knowledge of who and what we were."

"Still, they were human. It was humans who enslaved my people and it was humans still who caused the first blight."

Kraven was far too weak and tired to raise his voice above a rasping whisper.

"If Nygozy feels it's too risky for her, you can always use me. I have no problem needlessly risking my life and well being, as made obvious by virtue of being a blood mage."

"The ritual calls for a divine being. Nygozy only qualifies because she is a Paragon."

Kraven coughed, his back humped over as he leaned heavily on his staff; trying with all of his strength to stay standing.

"How does being a Paragon make Nygozy a divine being? All Paragons die. It's like being a Champion in the Free Marches. You did something worthy of remembrance and are awarded the title, and in the dwarves case, you and your family join the noble cast." Wolfram replied. He wasn't sure on most things at the moment, but paragon's being divine didn't seem right to him.