Waiting

Watching, waiting. It wasn't hard. Some part of her, some important part, had been waiting for a very long time - maybe even for forever, though for what even she could not say. Time slipped past her silently, patiently, and she could sit it by to watch it go contentedly. She could whether the passage now, now that she was what she was, but those she watched could not wait as long as she, and the time for action was fast approaching.

The world of spirits and dreams was heavy around her, settling about her shoulders like a heavy but comforting cloak. The hazy, filling feeling was never truly far away, considering what she was, but now she took some measure of solace in it; it was the only familiar thing about her, in this loud town where men lived but took no notice of the life around them. Denerim was not the first human city she had been in, but it was the largest, and though she was not one to be intimidated by large things, this place almost frightened her.

Her prey - too violent, too ill-intended a word, but there was no other she could use - had entered into the city nearly five nights ago, eight days after she had begun to keep her vigil over them. The Hero and her consorts, a valiant band of warriors, making way for their King's home. To her regret, she had lost them when they had entered the city but she had not, unwilling to go into such unfamiliar territory too hastily. So, once more, she had watched and waited, the eyes of a hawk or wolf searching out their movements as best they could in the meantime. Then, three mornings ago, her opportunity had been delivered; the brave knights had turned the rescue of their princess to the woods, and this time, she had had the courage to follow them back into the bustling city - their procession of naked men, bound and gagged, had been easy enough to follow even at her distance.

Yes, Serethiel had had much experience with waiting, but acting was another thing entirely. It took a brave person to act, because moving forward was so much harder than keeping still. Part of her had spent its whole existence waiting, and the other had spent her whole life acting - the two together had left her unsure of which was the better way. But it didn't matter, because now was the time for acting, she knew that, and so act she would. As she made her way through the cobbled, mucky streets, she kept her goal in mind : meet with the Hero. All else was secondary, and remembering that helped her to resist curiosity's pull as this bauble shone to catch her eye, or that man's drunken tune drew her ear. There would be time for merriment later, she compromised happily, when she had offered her services and joined with the intrepid band.

The city was big, and she was eased when the Warden's keep finally came into view. Following them earlier in the week had helped tremendously, but here, so close and yet so far from the forest she felt at home in, it almost hadn't been enough. But she was here now, and as they mighty grey walls rose above her as she approached, she felt more sure than ever of her decision.

A guard at the front stopped her, and she smiled at him sweetly as he sent his fellow off to find someone of greater authority who could grant her entrance. She was pleased with their diligence - it would have been sloppy indeed to have simply let her waltz into the building without a care.

''Ser, there's someone at the front door that is requesting to be admitted'' The young guard said after knocking at the door and stepping in.

Calliara looked up at him, sitting in front of 'her' desk in 'her' office, reading (or better said, trying to read) some reports and signing them. Being the Commander's second was difficult

''Who is it?''

''A tattooed elven lady, Ser''

A tattooed elven lady. No wonder why the guard looked for her. He looked smart enough to imagine that the 'tattoed elf' was a Dalish, and he looked for the only Dalish he knew that had a bit of authority there. Alas, Nygozy was busy with other kind of reports.

Calliara rose and placed the papers back on the table to follow the guard, curious. And when she saw the very Dalish girl standing there, curiosity got the best of her

''Andaran atish'an, lethallan. What can I do for you, and what do you want from the Grey Wardens?''

Serethiel's face beamed with delight to see the woman the guard had gone to fetch. She was such a beautiful and strong lethallan! She would have been proud to hear a story of such a sister, and to think that she might be able to fight by her side, someday - she couldn't help but smile.

As the elf drew near, she bowed in an elegant, flourishing movement. "Ma serannas, my sister. I come not asking what you might do for me, but what I might do for you." She nodded her head, and glanced at the guard, who was still giving her a cautious look. She met him with a pleasant look, and said, more for his benefit than her fellow elf's, "I come in the utmost of sincerity, and I wish only long life and success to your order. I have found myself without a path, recently, and I thought it best to offer my services where they might be needed."

She paused, and considered how best to continue. Her decision to join the Wardens had been spur of the moment, but that did not make her any less convicted about it. She wanted to make sure that she showed this white-haired vision before her that she was sincere. "The battle in Denerim showed many of the humans that the Wardens were respectable people, and worthy warriors, and as the darkspawn have not yet left the surface, I thought I might offer myself to the Order, providing I might be accepted."

Well, it wasn't usual, but having a potential recruit knocking the door to be accepted was a surprise.

Calliara smiled calmly and nodded, then looked at the guards. ''It's alright, gentlemen, I'll take care of this myself''

Then she looked at the other Dalish and waved a hand ''Please come with me. We have to talk before I introduce you to the Commander''

The Wolf guided her through the corridors to the gardens, thinking that maybe the elven girl would be happier and more comfortable there than in an office, feeling interrogated. Calliara took off her boots and sat down on the grass close to the gazebo, below one big tree.

''Please sit down with me. The Commander is a bit busy at the moment, but after you answer some questions I'll take you with her'' She looked around, it was early in the morning and there wasn't anyone there yet, but she didn't care if someone would show up. There were no secrets after all

''I am Calliara, once from the Dalish Clan of the Mahariel, now the Commander's second'' Calli bowed her head a little, smiling ''I'd want to know your name and what brings you here''

For a moment, Serethiel almost seemed to not hear Calliara's question. her eyes were closed in pleasure as she felt the garden around her. The trees and grass and flowers called out to her, and she called to them, and they recognized the spirit in her, and felt comforted by it - it was the closest they had ever come to the wild.

Then, she opened her eyes, and smiled at Calliara, sitting across from her. "Thank you for bringing me here," she said, happy and solemn in the same sound. She nodded her head in response to Calliara's greeting. "You have been very honest with me, Calliara of the Mahariel Clan. I can only be honest with you in return. My name is Serethiel, and I was the First of my Clan in the Dales. We were called Lismadri, and the men of the Dales killed us all. It was a horrible battle, and still I do not know if any of my family survived. I died that day too, you see." She closed her eyes, and raised a hand to he chest. "My life was saved by a spirit of the forest who breathed life into my body once more, and now I am she, and she is as I am. With my Clan dead and my forest burned, I have no where else to go. And so, with my power, I came here to offer my services to the Grey Wardens, who might use me for the good of this country." She stopped, her story done, and settled back into the grass to watch Calliara from the Clan Mahariel's reaction.

Calliara listened carefully, eyes unblinking focused on Serethiel, and just nodding from time to time. Finally, when the Keeper was done, the Wolf nodded one last time.

''Surely you will understand if we have our worries about a spirit 'owning' you in some way. I have yet to inform my Commander, and maybe some mages will examine you to be sure, but if you speak the truth, I don't think there will be problems with a forest spirit. After all, we are less stupid than humans and their ridiculous fear of all kind of spirits, good or bad''

The Wolf looked up for a second, listening to some birds chirping, and then looked around, the flowers blossoming, the sound of a fountain close to them, the morning breeze. Then, she turned her sight again on Serethiel.

''We will have to wait. The Commander is still busy, and I want to keep an eye on you until you meet her, just in case. Nothing personal''

Serethiel nodded gravely, understanding clear upon her face. "Of course," she said reasonably as she looked back up at the white-haired sister. "Your caution is natural. I would not want to impose myself only to cause you unnecessary suspicion." Then, she too fell silent for a time. She was truly thankful to Calliara for picking this spot for them to sit in. The grass was a great comfort after being so long in the lifeless city.

"I apologize that my nature is one so unusual. I, the creature who is speaking to you at this moment, am both the Spirit and the elf known as Serethiel. Were it only that I had some simpler way to say it, but I cannot think of one. On my word, for whatever it might be worth to you and your Commander, I am no threat to you and yours." She sat back with a calm little smile then. "But, as I have said, your suspicion is gladly received. I would not want you to have any doubts of me, and my own words will do little to assuage that."

''I am curious about the reason of possessing a dead sister to enter this world'' Calliara tilted her head to a side, watching a squirrel running on the grass to grab a nut and then run up to the tree again with it.

''I have to be sure you're not a danger for anyone here before you meet any of them. I have nothing against you, but they are like my cubs and I'll protect them with my life'' The Wolf pointed at the signs tattoed of her face, designs that were of Mythal, Goddess of Protection ''I hope you remember what this is for''

Serethiel listened to the wind play through the trees as she thought about how best to explain. "She had fought so valiantly - to the last, to save her people. I felt sorry for her. And, I think, she might have also felt sorry for me. My forest was burning, and the men of the Dales had never been kind to me and those I protected. We needed each other, I think." She looked down at her hands. Even now, after so long, it was strange to think of her body, and it was strange to try and explain to someone who could not understand what she was - what she and Serethiel, or what she and the Spirit, had together.

"Perhaps I am the same," she mused, tracing the patterns on Calliara's face with her gaze. "Being a protector is a difficult thing. It requires sacrifice. Sometimes, it feels as if you are not even a person, but a shield, useful only when defending the lives of those important to you. But I would rather be a shield than alone, and right now, I am alone. I want to be a shield again." She had only ever been a protector, the First of her Clan, or the Mother of her forest. Now, she had nothing, and she wanted people to protect again.

Calliara nodded, offering her a tiny smile. ''I am just a bow too. I know what you mean. There are tales among my people about spirits, and tales about what had happened to you, that's why I can accept it as it is''

The Wolf almost could hear hahren Paivel and Kai's mother. That made her feel sad.

''Alas. I am aware that other races have no such tales, or different tales that made them fear the spirits. Such as the humans, who are afraid of everything, and think everything that is not human is bad and a demon'' She snorted ''Once the Commander can see us I'll take you there with her''

Serethiel nodded solemnly. "It has been that way with the few humans I have met in my time since leaving my forest. I have told only a few of my true nature, and each of them had reacted less . . . favorably than I had hoped. I wished to cause no trouble, of course, so I quickly removed myself from such situations, and I have not told anyone else of what it is that I truly am." It was a sad thing, to think that the men of this place were so fearful of spirits. They did not understand the nature of the creatures as she was, as she had once been, and so they seemed content only to fear them. It was why she had always enjoyed the company of the elven travelers above the occupation of human men.

"I hope that your Commander will not find it disagreeable," she worried aloud. "I would not wish to cause unnecessary nervousness in that regard, either."

''I don't think she will react badly'' Calliara assured, and closed her eyes, just standing there under the sun and waiting.

After a moment in silence, eyes still closed, she smirked.

''Unless the Commander says other thing, it would be wise if you keep your... special condition as a secret''

"Oh? That is a relief. I understand that dwarves are not so familiar with magic - I confess that I was worried she would not . . . accept." She tilted her head a little to the side and watched the white-haired elf with old eyes for a moment. The silence stretched for a moment, though it was not uncomfortable, and then the elven Warden spoke again. She ducked her head a bit and blushed. "Ah. If you think it would be best, then I will try not to . . . 'let on' as to my nature." It seemed strange, the idea of keeping that hidden - she may as well keep it hidden that her hair was black. It was so much a part of her - no, it was her. But she could pretend. She wanted to help, and she couldn't help if everyone was too busy casting her suspicious glances. They had joined because she had wanted to see the world beyond her forest, but she had learned quickly that the world of men was less forgiving of what she was than her elves had been, and she had accepted that.

There was another spanning of silence, but she didn't notice it pass. She was very used to the quiet, and she spent the moment thinking. "Calliara," she finally asked, lifting her head to look at the other elf with curiosity plain in her eyes. "If you do not mind my asking . . . is it very difficult, to travel with the Wardens and their companions?" It had been something she had been worrying about since deciding to offer her services. It did not lessen her conviction, but . . . she had never traveled with anyone before - at least, not since with her Clan, and they had been family, her elves - and she worried. Was it different, when the party was not related by blood and bond and belief? Would it be frightening? Humans did not seem so kind to her Dalish, and she wondered how Calliara had come to stand it.

Calliara's eyes softened, and smiled sweetly, recognizing the same fear she felt years ago.

''Not really. It was difficult for me at first... we were just a dozen, and I was the only female. Now the group is... they are very different people. I am sure everything will be alright, Serethiel''

The Wolf smiled sadly with the memories. ''We are all very different, but yet we are alike. Each one of us had left behind what we were, and each one of us is walking hand by hand with each other. We are what we are, Grey Wardens. It doesn't matter if we were Dalish, humans, dwarves... flat ears... Races, classes... everything is forgotten. We are brothers and sisters, and we exist for each other, for protecting people from darkspawn and to fight darkspawn. That's all. It doesn't matter where you come from or what you did''

All at once, the tension that had seized Serethiel lifted from her shoulders. To hear Calliara speak so fondly of the wardens, it made her want to meet them more. If only she weren't so nervous that they'd take her being a spirit poorly . . .

"Hand in hand, brothers and sisters - I think I could like that." She smiled, and nodded, and felt like she was making a promise to herself. "Yes, I think I could like that very much."

The garden was so pleasant, and her companion was so generous that she almost felt as if she was a part of the Warden family already. She knew she was getting ahead of herself, but this fast-paced human world was still so strange to her, and she couldn't be sure if she was going too fast or too slow. It seemed that this was just one more thing she'd need to learn.

"You speak very beautifully of your companions, Calliara. Are you a teller of tales, perhaps, or a singer of songs? I once did such things with my clan, but I haven't in such a long time - it makes my heart glad to hear kind words instead of the gruff babble of these human-folk." Her face reddened a little, but her smile did not waver. She felt a little bad for speaking ill of humans, but she meant no harm, and one could not deny that most of them were of an uncouth and vulgar sort. Shouldn't she appreciate beauty where she heard it?