OhGodHereIAm

I'm here and here I am and I've been gone because I've had school and a job I've never had a job before this is new and it takes up all my time and I've been going through typical human being depression that sounds so cliche but which feels anything but cliche when you actually go through it and I was sad every day and I didn't want to wake up or live much less RP but yes there was that and then there was several months of doubt regarding my RPing and writing ability in general and I kind of threw in the towel but I want my towel back because every day I look at the forum even if I don't sign in and it makes me sad that I'm not here because this is my favorite place on the internet trufax and you're all my favorite people and I'm going to stop with the excuses and catch up on everything and come back if you'll take me back.

And now I'll stop rambling like Jez and get to work with reading things.

People here care about you, y'know.

Not me, though.

I don't care about anything, much less anyone.

-- Griffinhart

Believe it or not I understand what you are going through.

Life has been pretty sore on me and I have been tired. I will have had 12 weeks off work for short term disability coming up on February 7th and all that I've felt capable of doing is my stretches, some exercises and playing Guild Wars 2. I often close myself off from everything else in the world with my headphones, the sound of GW2 shutting out the rest of the world so I can have some privacy. I've been finding there to be too much going on. Too much light. Too much sound. Too much of everything trying to take my attention and giving me headaches as well as other pain making me feel horrible and as if I am drowning. So I tune it out with my game. I tune it out and submerge myself into that other reality.

Sometimes I can write but it is difficult. There is too much to tune out when I try to write. It is like everything that is going on is trying to take my mind away and cause pain. So I immerse myself in what can hold my attention just to keep the pain of too much input taking over.

It is better than when I was at work because then I would come home and hide in the dark to sleep or just avoid the light, sound and constant talking.

But work had gotten bad. I could not handle it. But I'm rambling as well.

I will try to get some writing done on what I need to do. Don't expect a lot for a while please. I love my forum, I love my friends - you guys. I just can't handle a lot lately.

So I understand my friend. You close up with it all and it is so much to even try to come out and wade through that pain.