What do you want first?

Alistair was about to point out that he'd rather ask an Ogre on a date than make any kind of truce with Kai. But, Kai was right (and didn't that feel like a blow to admit?) - Josie was much more important than him, and most certainly more important than Kai. If it was for her, then he'd back off. For now. Or at least, when they were around her. Out of sight, though, he was going to go back to his Kai-hating ways.

"What kind of idiots thought that that would. . . " he said under his breath with a sigh, and then lowered his face into his hands, and slowly dragged them across his face with a heavy sigh, and looked up at Josie again. "So . . . what are you going to do. You're not going to . . . well . . . keep it, are you?" It was too dangerous, letting her keep the baby. Once it got a little older, fighting would be next to impossible, and Josie would be vulnerable. Alistair was willing to sacrifice one unborn life it it meant keeping Josie safe.

And then thunder came.

''WHAT THE SODDING FUCKING HELL ARE ALL OF YOU DOING THERE!!!!''

The Wolf. Calliara's eyes were fuming with fury, and the Dalish looked really stressed, dealing with everybody in camp: Lithawen's whinning, Shade doing what he wanted, the newest Wardens finishing the supplies in their desperate hunger, and some other problems she had to deal with. And then, she saw Alistair sneaking in Nygozy's tent, and that was a very, VERY bad idea. Then Fremelda went after him, and Calliara's ears started twitching. And then Macha went after Fremelda!

Fuming, she walked over there just in time to hear Fremelda's geniality explaining to Alistair Nygozy's problem, and her ears twitched more.

''Fremelda! I ordered that no one was going to enter that tent without my direct order, and I don't remember giving any!'' She started, seeing how Macha was dragging the problematic assassin 'queen' out of the tent, and Nygozy was taking Alistair and Kai out as well, to the woods so they could talk in private, but the elf was so furious and determined to follow them later. ''Macha, keep an eye on her. Fremelda, later I'll have a talk with you''

Still furious, Calli followed the other three, and her anger grew instantly while listening to Alistair's last words, and saw them hitting each other.

''YOU! Not only you're missing while ...''

The Wolf stopped as Nygozy got between the two men and gasped worrying about her health but then the men stopped and Nygozy walked out of the tent and past her with eyes that looked empty. Torture was herding the men and Jezarine like they were sheep after her friend had given him a barking command to do so. She backed up to let them past and waited until they were past and in the woods, hoping that Nygozy knew what she was doing.

Then she turned back to Fremelda, hands on hips.

Fremelda glowered at Macha as she went into a tirade of a lecture to the assassin. "I am not a soldier, Cousland. I can't believe I'm actually telling you this but I was raised in a brothel after my parents abandoned me. When you live like that, you have no sense of privacy. I have no shame, I have no modesty. I just exist. The One Eyed Bastard over there was looking for help and I tried to play nice and give it, but only to be chased out. What's the point of family if they're all out to get you? There's a reason I am as bitter as I am." She growled and then surprisingly, Calliara came up and launched her own crippling lecture at Fremelda, who just stared at her. "Then tell your cousin to grow up and learn how to say he's going to be a father."

''Then grow up yourself and learn to respect other's privacy and not to sneak inside other's tent without permission!'' Calliara snarled, icy eyes unblinking ''It's not your place to tell anyone's secrets to nobody or even give your opinion about it. And if they were inside they tent, how the hell did you know that he needed help? Can you see through the fabric? Or where you spying?''

She shrugged her shoulders. "Macha has me helping the new Wardens. I was passing by the tent when I heard the commotion. As for respecting privacy, I can do that but you will find little privacy with these tents you know. People have good hearing. I thought you elves would understand that."

Calliara's ears twitched again.

''You know, it's not a thing of the tents, it's a thing of everyone's manners to just ignore private conversations if they happen to hear them just passing by! Don't try to play to be dense with me!''

Macha crossed her arms and looked at Calli as she spoke, and then glanced aside at Fremelda. "It's not your business to decide what you listen to or not listen to. There's one rule of the road, and that's that whatever happens in a tent stays in the tent, no matter how far away you can hear it from. If you hear, you pretend you didn't, because that's courtesy. Trust is a two way street - you're already as good as family, but the trust will come later."

She looked back up at Calli, her eyes apologetic. "I'm sorry I let her get out of my sight to cause that ruckus. I'll take care of it from here, if you're busy with . . . Nygozy." She wasn't dumb. She'd heard what Fremelda had as much as said, that Nygozy was apparently pregnant. As much as she wanted to ask, she knew that right now was most certainly not the best time, and she could have a more civil conversation with Calli about it later, if the white-haired elf was so inclined.

So Kai did know at least part of what was going on. That made things easier as she made a slight whine for Torture to take Jezarine back to the camp since this was something she had to work out with Kai and Alistair and was not willing to have anyone stomping around to bother them. This was personal and even though she liked Jezarine it was something she did not need to be involved in.

She looked up at both men then breathed deeply, "This is not something I have ever thought of for myself because first I had no interest then I became a warden. Now, in the midst of dealing with situations where it can come to life or death of a nation once again and," She shook her head, "And now I have to ..."

Nygozy rubbed the bridge of her nose then her brows as she got herself back in order. Great. That's probably a reason she'd been so easily affected by her moods lately. Just what she needed, "I have to think and I have to work things out but I NEED both of you to be there for me. You two are the most important people in the world to me and that means that if I have to somehow glue your legs together so you learn to work together then I'll do it."

She went over to a sandy mound and sat down then lay back looking at the sky, "I remember lying back like this all the time when I first left Orzammar and watch the clouds. Drove Duncan nuts when we were traveling to Ostagar but he was understanding enough to give me some time each day to do so. To let my mind clear and work things out. I haven't done it in a long time."

''It's not your fault, Macha, you're not her babysitter'' Calliara sighed, looking really tired for a moment, but then she straightened up and her expression turned to her usual stoic, calm self. ''I am sorry for yelling, Fremelda. Just don't do anything like that again''

''And yes... I am a bit busy. Not only with... Nygozy. Almost with everyone.'' She rolled her eyes. ''I'd ask you to keep an eye on the newest and the other cubs. If you happen to see Kassina, tell her I wish to speak with her. The same if you see Griffinhart. And if you see either Iauron or Sinjan, send them to me as well. It happens that the ones I need to speak with are hiding, and the others are ravishing the supplies, Lithawen is whinning as always and...''

She stopped ranting, and sighed. ''I will wait here to speak with Nygozy once she is over with those two idiots''

Macha offered Calli a small, sympathetic smile, and reached out her hand to squeeze her shoulder lightly and reassuringly. "I'll help however I can. You know you can lean on me whenever you need to, Calli - you and Nygozy. It's what I'm here for. Now, Fremelda," she said, turning a now too-sweet smile on Fremelda. "Let's get back to the children, shall we, and maybe some of them can educate you on matters of courtesy." Her smile promised pain if the once-assassin objected.

Kai stood dumbstruck for a moment as Alistair spoke. Not keep it? As much as he never expected this the thought hadn't crossed his mind. Yes the timing was bad. Probably couldn't be worse. But somehow he, the unfeeling assassin, had grown to love the small fierce dwarf woman. And as insane as all this was, this would probably be their only chance to... well to have a family.

Kai listened to what Nygozy said, realizing she didn't really answer any questions as she spoke. Of course she needed time. He had had all day to think about it. She had only just found out. The assassin went and sat down near Nygozy and sighed tiredly.

"Of course I will do whatever you ask Hero. I know this is a lot to take in and you need time and space but please remember this is my life too."

"Ignore it? Try telling that to your damned cousin and his lover." She muttered to Macha, growling to herself. The pair often kept her awake at night which was why she elected to sleep away from the camp, near Kassina's pack. And then Calliara apologized to Fremelda who nodded. "No harm done... Though keeping this secret from the rest of the camp is not going to end well you know. It's better that they find out now rather than later." She said and turned on her heel and followed Macha. "Oh come off it, Cousland. I'm an assassin, my job is to keep an ear to the ground. Never know what information you could need."

Oh Josie, don't please don't. Don't mention Duncan, not when I'm already so miserable about you. Alistair looked down at the ground and stayed where he was as Kai moved to go sit next to Josie. She'd said he was still important to her, and Alistair wasn't fool enough to think that that wasn't true, but he'd very clearly been replaced in her heart. It hurt, to see that that had happened, and he knew that he deserved that hurt, becuase he was the one who'd hurt Josie first. His Josie. The woman he'd been willing to go toe to toe with an Archdemon for once.

Finally, he slowly walked over to where Nygozy was sitting, but he didn't sit with her like Kai did. Instead, he stood just next to both of them, looking up at the sky like Josie was. He'd remembered how fascinated she'd been by clouds once, too.

"I'd do anything for you, Josie," he said quietly, and he'd never meant anything more in his whole life. He hadn't wanted Kai there for what he was going to say next, but it couldn't be helped and, at this point, he really didn't care anymore. "I wanted you back. I wanted you to be my Queen, and damn what anyone said. I was weak back then, when I ended it. I'm not anymore." He sighed, and looked down from the sky to stare at his feet, and he could see Josie's face in his peripheral vision. "But I don't have you anymore, either. I can . . . see that. But that doesn't change anything, Josie. I still love you more than anything, and if I love you, then the only thing that matters is you being happy . . . even if its not with me."

Macha offered Calli one last smile before walking off with Fremelda to go back to watching the younger party members and the new Wardens. She tilted her head over her shoulder to look at Fremelda and stuck out her tongue a little before half-grinning and looking back forward. "That's another thing you need to learn about family, Fremelda - we really, really don't want to know what the rest of our family is doing between the sheets. It makes ignoring it a lot easier when you think of it that way. The next time you say anything about Gareth and his exploits, I am going to send Argos on you," she informed the red-head, her voice far too cheerful for death threats. Argos, who was walking along with them, barked just as happily.

They spoke and she listened but her mind kept assailing her as it happened. Everything was important but it was also very trivial in the bigger picture of life. This wasn't the bigger picture though. This was her life. The lives of two men she loved and a child.

A child.

It felt like her heart was being torn apart by elements beyond her control and she could not stop the tears from falling as Alistair spoke. It choked her up and made her have a difficult time controlling her feelings. Of all things this was the most difficult experience she'd had. Fighting was one thing as there were direct, immediate and definite outcomes. This was not the same.

"Both of you would think I am crazy but if I could make a wish to the gods I'd wish that this life inside me were two." A sort of chuckle cry came from her, "One yours Kai and one Ali's. It ... is selfish yet I still hurt inside with the thought of losing either of you. It is childish, selfish and idiotic but ... I'm not happy, Ali. I won't be for a long while, Kai. I know this trouble with choosing one or the other is going to lose me one or the other of you in time but I can't help ... can't help how I feel."

She put her hands to her face and leaned forward, "I'm choosing for three lives and it's too hard."

Kai was quite shocked as Alistair began to talk. The assassin looked intently at the ground beneath him, feeling like he had no place here right now. He was always there for these intimate moments but he wasn't used to being visable for them and felt extremely exposed.

And then Nygozy began to cry and the elf forgot all about Alistair being there. He had meant to give Nygozy space, not wanting to push her or upset her, but seeing her like this he just couldn't help himself. He slid over to her and gathered her in his arms as she finished speaking.

"Shh my love, my hero," He whispered gently to her as he held her against his chest. "I will always be here for you, no matter what. I would prefer to be beside you as your friend and lover. As the... father to your child if you decide. But if I can be nothing more than your protective shadow, then so be it."

He held to her tightly, rocking her gently as she cried. "You have already done so much for me, I will do anything for you. Anything. But now is not the time to decide little hero. You need food and rest. There is a party to attend to. My cousin needs a chaperone around the wine I am thinking." He said with a small chuckle, trying to distract her and ease her pain.

"Oh Maker! Not crying, Josie!" he said with a pitiful whine, looking for all the world like he'd rather be crying himself and was only holding back to be strong for her. "Anything but crying! I really, really can't help with the crying, you know that! I start to get teary, and then I just end up saying something to make it worse, and then we're both on the ground with snot running down our noses and puffy eyes." He laughed hollowly, and scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm to stave off the tears, and then crouched down to that he was at eye-level with Nygozy. Kai might have been holding her, but he put his hand out to clasp at his shoulder. It was all he had the right to touch, right now, but by the Maker, he put all of his love and support into the one touch.

"This doesn't have to be hard on you, Josie. You were always so good at following your gut. So . . . do it now. I mean, not right now. That is, you should think about it, and maybe not be crying when you think about it, but when you do think about it, you know . . . just do what feels right. And whenever you do come to the decision . . . just know that no matter what it is, I'll be there for you." He cast a quick, sideways glace at Kai, and then focused back on Nygozy. "I promise."

The fact that she broke down only made everything that much worse. She wasn't supposed to break down. She wasn't supposed to cry over such trivial things as this and she should be able to make hard core decisions which affected many people let alone only four.

But now there were four. Four people to worry about when it came to her decisions about relationships.

Everything that was a warden's life was a completely separate thing. It was easy to be subjective and look at things from a different point of view. Seeing different sides of an issue came easily when you were dealing with good and bad, black and white, you have two buttons to press or a choice of touching something that might be dangerous or let the big rock friend who could take a lot more damage do it.

She held onto Kai as he tried to console her then Alistair put his hand on her shoulder and she put one hand on it as well then yanked him down to her other side so she could feel him there, not just his hand. Nygozy touched her cheek to Kai's then to Alistair's and took deep breaths until she'd stopped crying. But she stayed like that, between the two of them and not feeling like moving or letting go because right now it was peaceful and she wanted it to stay that way for at least a while.

Kai grimaced to himself as Alistair put his hand on Nygozy's shoulder, and had to supress a growl when Nygozy pulled him down into her embrace. But he had promised he would do anything for her and he meant it. Even if it meant sharing her with the bumbling play king. He didn't like it, but he would do it, and do it without complaint. He wanted nothing more than to carry her off somewhere private and quiet and kiss away her worries and fears, but knew that now was not the time.

The assassin wasn't sure how long the three of them sat there as Nygozy slowly calmed down, but he was glad no one came to interrupt her peace.

Eventually he shifted so he could look down at her. "You haven't eaten since breakfast and it is almost dark. If you're feeling up to it why don't we go wash up and check out the party? I'm sure many people are worried sick about you Hero." He said as he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Or if you're not up to it I'm sure that mutt of yours can convince someone to bring you a nice dinner in your tent."

Alistair just barely suppressed a surprised 'eep' when he was tugged down with Nygozy, and steadied his now-awkward position with a hand before relaxing a little, and pressed his free hand around Josie's back (ignoring Kai with a ruthless efficiency). The three of them were like that for what felt like a long while, and for a few moments, he felt like he was back then, before the Archdemon had died, before things were complicated. When it was just him and Josie, holding each other through nightmare-filled sleep.

Then the spell was broken, as most are, and he shifted a moment after Kai did, savoring that last second of contact before letting her go, maybe in more ways than one. "That sounds like a good idea," he said quietly, hating to agree with the elf but doing so anyway. It seemed that, for all of their differences and dislike for one another, they both at least had Josie's best interest at heart. "You'll need to eat more than cheese now if you want to stay healthy," he offered with a small, tired laugh. "I . . . I should get back to patrolling, or - or something." He moved to stand up, knowing that he was tearing himself in half to even just step away from her. But he had to do it, didn't he? He had to - to . . . what? Give her time?

It had been some time that they spent just relaxing like that and it helped to calm Nygozy down to a point where she was able to start thinking more and work out her thoughts. She was pleased that both Kai and Alistair decided to ignore their dislike for each other so that she could mentally get back on her feet. It was needed and both of them felt it was so.

Kai moved then Alistair did as well and both stated that they thought she should eat and she knew that if she did not that they would force her to. She was not going to get away with not taking care of herself and she smirked, giving them a tender smile each, "I have the funny feeling that I'm going to have two men watching over my every move now instead of just one. It might be a good thing because you can't always keep me out of trouble alone." She teased.

Nygozy kissed Kai's cheek then got up to pull Alistair down to kiss his cheek as well.

"Thanks for giving me a chance to think things over." She said quietly but not so silent that she could barely be heard. She was feeling better enough to talk but not enough as of yet to do so very loudly. The dwarf chewed on her bottom lip then sighed, "I still love both of you and I know it is hard on both of you but you do know that I still need time. However, the child is a different matter altogether. For this little one I have already decided what I want."

Kai relaxed as Nygozy began to cheer up. He even managed a small smile as she spoke. As much as he hated to admit it, even in his own mind, having someone else to help force the stubborn little dwarf to eat and sleep would come in handy.

Then Nygozy mentioned reaching a decision about the child and his heart jumped into his throat. Kai stood up and ran his hands down his sides as they had suddenly become sweaty in his nervousness. "Of course you can have all the time you want, Hero. I'm not going anywhere. What have you decided about the child?" He asked, his voice coming out a bit strangled. He wasn't used to being nervous and having no control over a situation.

Alistair was standing now, giving Kai and Nygozy the illusion of privacy where they sat on the ground, but when Josie spoke, he was all ears, and didn't much bother with trying to look like he was trying to keep calm about it. He . . . didn't know what he wanted her to say. About the baby - it was . . . it was a part of Josie, and nothing that was Josie's could ever be bad. Her baby . . . it would be wonderful and beautiful and smart and strong, and even if it wasn't his, he'd love it more than anything (except Josie, of course). But a pregnancy while on the road . . . there was no end to the things that could go wrong. She could get attacked, and she wouldn't be able to fight, or she could fall, or do something too strenuous and . . . and it could kill Josie, just like that.

He swallowed hard, waiting for her answer in silence. It wasn't his, it wasn't his, it wasn't his. He had no right to tell her what to do.

"This isn't the easiest decision in the world either." She looked away to the camp in the distance as she had chosen to come to this location as it was on a higher level than the camp so she could watch the others moving about, even if it was from a ways away. It was a few moments before she looked back and gave them a tender smile, "But it was much more cut and dry to make."

"There never was a chance of this before, as far as any of us ever knew even though it had been proven to be possible with a warden and a non-warden. It just never occurred to me that it could happen. That must sound retard-idly stupid but it's true. It never came to mind but being pregnant at a time like this is something that would not be easy. There would be many risks and as time went on there would be even more as the baby grew. I know this and I know that both of you fear for my safety and health." She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head, "Fremelda's suggestion could be considered a sane choice ... it probably is, actually."

Nygozy breathed in then out, "But I cannot do that. I'm sorry Alistair but I am the person who has risked her own life to save innocents. Even kittens in trees. Mind you part of that was to piss off Morrigan," She sniggered in memory of the angry mage, "But still, I have always been unable to let an innocent die if I could stop it. How could I deny my own child life in fear of my existence when I protect others with my life? Not only that but Kai, you have a right to know your child. I know this would be painful for you Alistair and difficult to see a child of mine who is not of your genes but I have the same hurt when I think of Morrigan's little one ... but I have to admit that I would like to hunt down Morrigan to meet and know that child just because he ... or she is genetically yours."

She looked back towards the horizon once more, "Not to mention that Auntie Calliara and Auntie Macha would beat me silly if they couldn't have a baby to spoil now."

Kai let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as Nygozy spoke. He was going to be a father. He was really really going to be a father. He hadn't allowed himself to think about it too much before now, incase Nygozy chose not to keep the baby. But now... he couldn't keep the stupid grin from creeping onto his face. He wasn't sure what kind of life the two of them could give a child, but it sure wouldn't suffer for lack of love or protection.

"Thank you Nygozy, oh thank you," he said as he went to her and knelt down to hug her close. He desperately wanted to smother her in kisses and find many other ways to show his thanks, but now was not the time. Instead he settled for placing a kiss on her forehead.

"This child will have more aunts and uncles than it'll know what to do with." Reluctantly Kai got to his feet and stepped away from Nygozy. "Don't think you've wormed your way out of dinner with this hero. You up for the party or a quiet dinner?"